Before you start writing your essays to tell me that male feminist exist, let me start off my saying that I believe men can and should support gender equality in society. This post isn’t denying the existence of men who support gender equality so don’t bother typing.
I decided to write about this after I had a conversation with a male acquaintance. We were discussing marriage (for someone who doesn’t necessarily want to get marriage, I do have a lot of conversations about marriage) and he said he wanted to marry a strong independent woman. Because I’ve heard that ‘wash’ a lot, I decided to ask what exactly he meant by a strong independent woman. He said he wanted a wife who worked and earned her own money and he doesn’t want a woman who would ask him for money to buy frivolous things like human hair and Oh, he doesn’t want a housemaid. I then asked if he would be fine with sharing the household chores with his wife since she would be working and he doesn’t want to hire help. He said no because it’s the woman’s duty to take care of the house (surprise surprise………not).
I wasn’t surprised at all by his position because I’ve met a lot of guys that claim to want a strong independent woman/feminist but are vehemently against the idea of sharing household chores with their wives because apparently sweeping reduces the amount of testosterone in their bodies (insert side-eye emoji). Beware of those guys who claim to be feminist just to get girls. They know that most Nigerian ladies are becoming more aware of gender injustices and they pretend to care about gender inequality just to get into our pants or marry us. When a gentleman tells you he wants a strong independent woman, ask him what exactly he means by that because I guarantee that 9 out of 10 times, he means a superwoman feminist. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I don’t subscribe to that brand of feminism because I think it’s same old socio-cultural expectations of women in a brand new enticing package. Even though women help men bring resources home, they are still expected to be in charge of all of the household duties.
[Sidebar: Why do Nigerian men claim to hate weave so much but still go after the ladies with weave?? I think they actually like weave but they don’t want to have to buy weave for their significant other(s).]