About the TBoss situation

About the TBoss situation

So, Big Brother Nigeria is finally over (Thank God). Even though I don’t live in Nigeria, the madness of BBN got to me through social media. I’ve never been into any Big Brother franchise; something about Big Brother makes me uncomfortable. I think it’s like putting mice in a maze and watching them trying to figure their way around just for entertainment (overanalyzing much?? Probably). I’ve never been into the show and always thought it was garbage but this season of BBN really took the garbage to a whole another level.

I can’t believe someone thought it was okay to broadcast the rape of TBoss across the continent (What part of your brain has to be missing to make a decision like that?). What is even more disappointing is that the rapist only got evicted from the house and no charges were filed against him. The showrunners even had the gall to bring him to the viewing centre to watch the finale. The whole situation shows that many Nigerians are very ill informed on consent and rape; many people only consider the act to be rape only when the woman/girl is crying and screaming. Even in cases of obvious physical coercion, the victims are still blamed for their rape. The victims are accused of seducing/tempting the rapist by dressing provocatively, being out after dark, going to a male friend’s house and being drunk. The sad and dangerous part is that the police, lawmakers and elites (Hello, Mr Abati) hold such misogynistic beliefs; which means more often than not, the rapist will get away with the crime and continue on with their rampage.

Just to clarify, It is rape when you penetrate a drunk girl, It is rape when the girl says “No” or “Stop” during the act because you decided to try some porno shit with her without showing or accurately describing the act. It is rape if she said yes to the porno act and halfway in she decides she doesn’t like it and says “Stop”, It is rape even though she is your wife and the holy book says her body belongs to you. It becomes rape when a girl/woman indicates she is no longer interested in a sexual act and you still go forward with the act. It is not quantum physics, it shouldn’t be that hard to understand.

It is also rape when a person is emotionally coerced by a partner into having sex. This type of rape is very common in committed relationships. This is the “If you love me you will have sex with me” situation / silent treatment until we have sex and the guilt tripping into having sex. In Nigeria, one common method of guilt tripping wives into having sex is to tell them that they aren’t performing their wifely duties. Unfortunately, female socialization in Nigeria primes/grooms us to be victims of guilt-tripping; due to our upbringing, we feel very worthless when we are told we aren’t wife material or that we are failing at being a good wife, so we do everything to rectify our “flaws” even when it involves having sex when one is not in the mood.

Rape is a very serious crime that results in serious damage to the emotional wellbeing of the victim. The emotional scars stay with the victim for the rest of their lives. The society should focus on putting away the rapist rather than kicking someone who is already battered. Just like with any other crime, the blame/judgement should be reserved solely for the perpetrator and not the victim.

[PS: I know there is probably an MRA typing “Men are victims of rape too” and I acknowledge that but however, I’m a feminist which means that I focus primarily on women’s issues. Also, statistics show that 91% of rape victims are female so rape is more of a problem for women than it is for men]

National Sexual Violence Resource Center. (2015). Statistics about sexual violence. Retrieved from http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf

Why I have been MIA aka Netflix is the spawn of Satan

Why I have been MIA aka Netflix is the spawn of Satan

Guys, let me explain why I haven’t posted anything in a while. I was busy last month with presentations, papers and exams so I didn’t have time or energy to write, edit and post anything and (time to be honest) the most significant reason why I didn’t post anything last month was that (drum roll) I subscribed to Netflix. The second season of Marco Polo came out last month so I subscribed to Netflix to watch it and guys and I loved it so much. I forgot how good looking everyone on that show was. Netflix just took up most of my time. Marco Polo was not the only show I watched; I watched both seasons of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Stranger Things, Narcos and so much more. Thankfully, I had enough self-control to study for my exams.

My Erasmus Study year is officially over now but I will not be returning to Turkey until September. The year was fun and I got to learn so much about myself. I learnt how capable I am; I mean I travelled to several cities alone. I never thought I would be able to do that. When I was in America last summer, I cancelled my plans to travel to some cities because I didn’t have a travel buddy and I was scared. I realise now that the only reason I need a travel buddy is to take pictures of me (self-absorbed much) but I don’t even like other people taking pictures of me soooooo. Also, I made my way around cities where majority of the inhabitants do not speak English so why was I scared of travelling in the US alone????????? I guess you never know what you are capable of until you try.

I another thing I found out about myself during the study year was that I am an unapologetic homebody. I don’t like to go out unless I have something to do; I never rarely (rarely is the more accurate word) go out just cause, I need a specific reason or goal. I used to try to change that about myself but I have accepted it and I want my family and acquaintances to accept it as well. I do love travelling and visiting new places, though.

Upon my return to my home institution (look at my fancy Shakespeare writing), I will be a final year student so I have started preparing to apply for a Masters Program. Most institutions (if not all) require students from Nigeria and other African countries to write TOEFL or other English Language tests. I chose to write TOEFL: it cost 250 US Dollars to register and the result is only valid for just 2 years. So, even though I have been speaking English my whole life and even speak it better than my mother tongue, I still need to prove that I can learn in English (talk about third world problems). Writing is my weakest area in English and my secondary school English teacher told me I was a bad writer and made no effort to try to help me improve my writing skills (yeah, not a very motivational teacher) but I did very well in that area (I scored 111/120 in case anyone was wondering).

This blog post is just a mini life update. I will strive to post more frequently this month.

Travel Diaries- Istanbul

Yes, I live in Istanbul but since I came to Germany in October 2015 for my exchange program, I have been to Turkey 5 times for my dentist appointments because I have on braces (yes, make your unoriginal barbed wire jokes; like 20 people made a barbed wire joke to me on my last visit to Nigeria). Finding an English speaking Orthodontist that would accept my health insurance was nearly impossible, so I had to continue with my Turkish Doctors. My most recent appointment was meant to be my last appointment but unfortunately (cry face emoji) one of the gaps between my teeth did not close so we decided to wait and see of it will close with further treatment. I cannot wait to take them off in August and be able to finally eat popcorn again. I am glad I got them, besides finally getting good dentition (dance emoji), wearing braces also helped me develop some good habits. My dental hygiene has improved (I brush 3 times in a day and floss) and I have stopped biting my nails. I hope I will keep the good habits after the braces are gone.

I think my German has greatly improved (naturally). While I was checking into my flight in Germany, the attendant spoke German to me and I understood her very well and was able to give answers (well, one-word answers, but still). I was so proud of myself and no one could tell me anything. On this trip, something about me screamed approachable and nice because I had three instances where people asked me for favours (I have been told that I have a mean face and an unapproachable aura which I don’t mind as long as keeps guys from disturbing me on the street). When I arrived in Istanbul, I went to the ATM to withdraw some money and a lady walked up to me and asked me for a favour. She was supposed to fly from Washington to Addis Abba but she missed her connecting flight from Istanbul to Addis Abba  and so she needed to buy a new ticket. The Turkish Airlines ticket office is after the passport control and so a visa is required to buy a new ticket if someone misses a flight which is a very smart plan in my opinion. She had an American visa so she could get an e-visa to Turkey for a fee of course. She did not have a credit or debit card and cash is not accepted so she asked me to use my card to pay the visa fee for her and she would refund me. I did help her and she was very grateful. After I left the airport, I went to a friend’s house where I spent the night.

The next morning, I went for my dentist appointment and after the appointment, I went to the cinema. I saw three movies that day; Warcraft, X-men Apocalypse and Captain America Civil War. I thoroughly enjoyed all three movies but my favourite was Captain America. I watched Warcraft because I am a huge fan of the Vikings and I was not disappointed but the film does have some drawbacks but it was very entertaining and I hope the sequel is made.

The reviews for X-men were very bad and so I was not expecting much but I was pleasantly surprised at how good the movie was. This movie and Marco Polo (the Netflix original show) are the reasons why I do not trust reviews; people have different tastes in movies and tv shows and what appeals to one will not appeal to another (I know a few people who do not like Inception, how can a person not like Inception?????). Also, James McAvoy is very handsome (new celebrity crush alert). I never noticed how handsome he is; I remember in school, girls used to trip for him, and I just never saw it because I have not followed much of this work. From his appearances on the Graham Norton Show, I thought he was goofy and funny but now, I see the dude is very good looking.

As for Civil War, I am team Iron Man. I can’t stand Steve Rogers’ holier than thou attitude and also Bucky is volatile and dangerous, someone like that should not be a free man. Even though I really enjoyed this movie, I do have one big complaint; we are not given any explanation for why Sharon Carter assisted Steve. Did she believe Bucky was innocent? Even if she did believe he was not responsible for the Vienna bombing, after Bucky broke out of his containment, she should have realised that he is not in a good state of mind. I got the sense that she was helping Steve because she was attracted to him which does make any sense and takes away from her badassery. All in all, I really enjoyed my day at the cinema.

The next morning, I made my way to the airport and I had two other encounters that made my question the effectiveness of my RBF (Resting B***t Face). I was waiting in line for the first security check (summer queues in Istanbul Airport are very long, I advise people to go to the airport at least 3 hours before their flight) and this lady walks up to me and pecks me on the cheeks (Shocked face emoji). She was already late for her flight and was in a hurry, so she wanted to make it seem like we were friends to avoid any protests from the people behind me for jumping the queue. I am a very reserved person and I was shocked at first and a bit hesitant but as someone who has missed quite a few flights (cringing face), I understood her motivation and I let her and her sister go ahead of me. My second encounter was also with a pair of sisters (what’s up with that). When I was in the check-in queue for my flight, two sisters asked me to check in with them (I know that sounds odd but after the explanation you will understand). They had a lot of luggage and would have had to pay extra but since I did not have any luggage, we would check in as a group and my baggage allowance would be allocated to them. The luggage was all under one of the sisters’ names and I was glad about that. My name was not on the luggage tag which was my biggest concern because I was scared of the consequences if they were travelling with something illegal. It all worked out for everyone involved.

Honestly, I must say it feels good to help people but hold your horses; I have no intention of becoming a Mother Theresa. I slept throughout the flight to Berlin and I made my way to Cottbus by train.

Is Rickon going to die????????

Hello People

So I said I was going to try to review the new season of game of thrones and I have not done that yet because the season’s pace is very slow (and kind of boring tbh) and I did not see the need for a weekly review.However,a scene in the latest episode (episode 3) made me want to rant and cry;So Rickon was captured by a house that is seemingly loyal to the Boltons (I say seemingly because I hope that this is a trap) and then he is given to Ramsay Bolton as a gift (which basically means he is going to die).I was upset by the scene and it is all I can think about. The first reason why that scene upset me so much is because the house that captures Rickon are loyal to the Starks in the books for now at least (cos you never in the Kingdom of Westeros-yes I am pointing to at you Walder Frey). Another reason why I was so upset is because I think the Starks have suffered enough already. I mean, in the entire world of the show, I don’t think any other house has gone through as much suffering as they have. I thought that there would no more death in the family and that this season we will get to see them exact their revenge on all those who betrayed them (well except onTheon, who has redeemed himself).I just hope that there is a twist; maybe that Rickon is an impostor (Osha looked very relaxed considering the situation that they are in,I know I am reaching but what can I do).

So if the Umbers do not set Ramsay up like I am hoping, then maybe Bran will warg into one of Rickon’s guards (I am not sure if proximity is a hindrance to warging) and help set him free or Bran will send a message to Jon about Rickon’s captivity thereby prompting Jon to take a group of elite stealth fighters to go rescue Rickon. I am just coming up with theories because I cannot handle Rickon dying or becoming Ramsay’s new Reek and if any of the above does occur, I will revolt against the TV show. This season so far has really been a drab for me. For the past seasons of GoT, I always paid full attention during the episodes. However for this season,so far none of the episodes have been able to fully capture my attention and hold it for 60 mins.

I also have to talk about the Tower of Joy; I am so tired of the teasing, I mean can we get to the truth already. Did Rheagar Targaryen capture Lyanna Stark or did they run away together because they were in love? I have been waiting for  years to know what actually happened. I personally think that she was captured by the prince. My theory is that the prince had a grotesque sense of entitlement because he was a prince and very good looking from various accounts and he tried to woo Lyanna but she rejected his advances;his fragile male ego couldn’t handle it because he had never been rejected before and so he kidnapped her to show her that he was the “boss”. I think many people came up with the theory that they were in love because Rheagar was described as handsome, chivalrous and all other knightly adjectives and so people do not want to accept that he could be a rapist.  It has been scientifically proven that people do not associate negative actions with beautiful people; they are given the benefit of the doubt.Another reason why people would reject Rheagar being a rapist is because he is always described as gentle mannered and kind by people that were close to him. This does not prove anything because people can hide their true nature from even those closest to them; I mean how many times have we heard that someone committed a crime and those close to them say the criminal was gentle mannered and so on. I think sometimes people forget that people do not have to mean for them to be hateful. Whichever theory is right I just want to know already. I also just want a confirmation about R+L=J theory. I also have doubts about this theory but it could be true. I just want everything to be clarified.

Have a nice day

 

Things I am looking forward to

Things I am looking forward to

I cannot wait for the 25th of April because I am so excited for the new season of Game of Thrones (GoT) (insert dance emoji). This is the season that I have most looked forward to because the events in this season occur after “Dance of Dragons” which is the 5th book in the song of ice and fire series. The sixth book has not been released yet (Mr. Martin please free us from our misery), so I am going into this season blind. I read all 5 books after I watched the 1st season of GoT (I was going through withdrawal so I had a fix) so I knew what was going to happen in the series (I had to mourn Rob Stark twice-sobs loudly). The series did start to depart from the books last season but I had a general idea of what was going to happen. Another reason why I’m so looking forward to the next season is because this season we are going to witness “The Revenge of the Starks”. I love a good revenge story (I mean, who doesn’t), and it is about time the starks got to killing all those who betrayed them (for the record, I am against violence in real life). I heard that Sansa will be the instrument of the revenge i.e this will be the one to plan and plot the revenge (all her time with little finger paid off I guess). I will try to review GoT season 6 even though I have never done a review before, but it is basically just giving your opinion which I am quite good at.

Another TV Show I am eagerly waiting for is the Marco Polo Season 2, but it is still very (Ok, not very) far away (Premiere on the 1st of July). The 2nd season is due for a release 18 months after the 1st season, 18 months is a really really long time, and there were no trailers or teasers to keeping the longing abate. Ok, the 100 eyes special was released in December 2015 but still, the wait for the 2nd season was too long. I hope the showrunners make it up to the fans by giving us 15 episodes this season. I will also try to review this show.

Finally, I was supposed to be 5 episodes into the 2nd season of Attack on Titan by now, but alas the season premiere has been postponed to God knows when and the manga is released monthly but that is not enough for the fans. I am ahead in the story but I want the see all the awesomeness of Levi and Mikasa in animation (not as fulfilling in the manga). There is one particular scene involving Levi and the Military Police that is going to be so badass in animation. These are the things that I am most looking forward this year.

Thank you for reading.